So I’ve noticed that it’s been a while since I updated this. Many times have I opened up a Microsoft Word document to write a new blog entry, but then sat looking at the blank page for ages before closing it and watching The Big Bang Theory instead. However I have done some various things this week, so actually have something to talk about now.
First a reason to celebrate; my room FINALLY has its wood flooring down (seven months after I purchased it). My father very kindly visited on Saturday 3rd, and we spent the day swearing at just how much the Homebase and B&Q adverts lie. “Very simple to assemble, you just push and click together and your new floor will be down in no time”. Bollocks! Firstly it didn’t just ‘push and click’ together. Secondly if you DID get the two bits of floor to slot together, the moment you tried to add a third bit of floor the first two bits of floor decided to come apart again. Now, everyone who knows me will know I don’t buy cheap. If I’m going to buy something I buy the best I can afford or nothing at all. So I dread to think what the Homebase value wood flooring would have been like.
Luckily once we’d placed down the first two rows of flooring (four hours later might I add) it seemed to get easier; the flooring was more reluctant to fall apart like Britney Spears, and we developed a nifty trick of placing the floor together to slot in first time. A couple of taps of a hammer to firmly place it in and voila! Although we noticed that the hammer was always on the other side of the room to where we were.
I have yet to mention this in the blog that I went for a promotion at work (well, I don’t think so anyway. I have the same appalling memory as my father, so I do apologise if I repeat myself). Sadly I didn’t get the job, but from the feed back given I think I stand an incredibly good chance for when the opportunity comes round again; not to mention the colleague who got the position I have a lot of respect for, and I honestly thought even before the interview that he was the best candidate for it. I must make sure I build up my confidence, and find more opportunities to take control of my own development and show the team leaders exactly what I am capable of. Because I know I can be a Brand Ambassador with my eyes shut.
What I haven’t been doing is going to the gym. Last week I did not go a single time, and I feel angry with myself for doing that. Summer is coming up, I have nearly two weeks holiday off work at the end of August with a good friend staying with me for most of that time. I need to lose more weight and get my fitness up. What’s daft is that I can tell it’s working already, I can now run up the three flights of stairs at work without having a mild heart-attack at the top. So peoples, you need to nag me to go, and guilt trip me if I haven’t been.
Disaster stuck last Thursday night when, as it approached midnight, my computer decided to shit all over itself and die. Symptoms pointed out that a broken graphics card could be at fault, so on Friday at 7:45pm I drove to PC World in Aylesbury at speeds which got me there in 8 minutes and bought a new card. The good news is that the computer now turns on and works. The bad news is that in the process I seem to have lost all sound as well, unless I wear my USB Skype headset. Normal speakers or headphones do not work, so I can only listen to my Led Zeppelin while looking like an Air Traffic Controller.
Today I’m on a lieu day as I am working this Saturday coming. The original plan was to wake up early, go to the gym, come home and shower, then go to the bank and find out why around £200 of my money per month seems to float off into the ether, and then take my old bedroom carpet to the council rubbish dump.
Instead what happened is that I woke up at 1pm, said “sod it” to the gym, showered, went to the bank and saw the size of the queue to talk to somebody so just used the ATM to order a statement through, went to the rubbish dump, came home, and realised my hair had gone incredibly curly so I looked like an old lady from ‘Last of the Summer Wine’.
At least the journey to the rubbish dump was interesting. On the way there I encountered so many cyclists that it became almost like a slalom obstacle course. I also found it highly entertaining at the number of cyclists who cannot raise their arm to signal without almost falling off their bike; in fact such an act caused one woman to zig-zag wildly across both lanes in front of me, resulting in a lot of emergency stops by cars on the other side of the road. When I got to the rubbish dump I began my usual swearing at stupid people; everyone had parked as if the outlined parking spaces didn’t exist. One Renault Laguna estate had parked across three of them, which infuriated me so much I shouted something out to him that shall not be repeaed here. After disposing of my carpet I wandered over to the end of the rubbish dump where you can purchase things if you so wish to do so. Now before you call me a pikey (and I’ll admit I am) you can find some wonderful things there; my computer speakers for example, which until last week have worked brilliantly. I also have a magnificent set of leather-bound encyclopaedias with lots of gold leaf used, over thirty books in total. Sadly when I got them home I realised why they were at the rubbish dump, and why they were free; ‘Y-Z’ had been destroyed in the house fire they’d come from, and ‘X-Y’ was slightly crispy around the edges. I also have found that a little invention called ‘Google’ has made these encyclopaedias as good as useless. So for the people who read this blog, if you know somebody without internet access and has no interest in topics beginning with either Y or Z, please put them in contact with me!
While I was browsing the bits and bobs, looking at a massive fish tank in particular, I was joined by one of the most adorable kids I have ever met. He walked right up to me, waved with a grin, said hello and introduced himself and asked me for my name. When I replied, he held out his hand and said “pleased to meet you”. This boy could only have been about 5 years old, at most. Who the hell taught him such manners? I was so impressed I shook his hand, and what followed afterwards was the very difficult task of balancing friendly conversation without looking like a paedophile. Thankfully while we were discussing the fish tank I was looking at, and what fish I would put in there (when I told him I’d get fish that looked like Dory and Marvin from Finding Nemo I was his new best friend) his mum came over and, clearly satisfied I wasn’t a child molester, joined in with the conversation as well. I now have a funny feeling that “A Nemo and Dory’ will be on this kids Christmas list this year. Bless him, he was so adorable and its times like that when I actually feel a moment of sadness that I myself am not a father. I have wanted to be a dad for as long as I can remember, and I look forward to that moment when I first lay my eyes on my son or daughter and hold them in my arms.
Not even my teenage brother and his friends can put me off that dream, who have all one by one walked into room, farted, run out giggling like hyenas and are now shooting Nazi’s while listening to poor quality Eminem on a mobile phone. I’ll just send my children to boarding school during the teenage years. Result!!
