Blimey, looks like I haven’t updated this in quite some time. But then again, not too much really happens in the world of McGoun. Life has been very good, but it has been about as exciting and eventful as a flower arranging competition.
I finally have the old Astra serviced, and it is now running a lot better. It had better run better; last month I averaged 22mpg in my little 2.2 Astra. That’s appalling! That’s in fact worse economy than the Mercedes-Benz 5.5 twin-turbo V8 vehicles, which puts into perspective how broken my vehicle is. But fingers crossed; when I get paid I shall try another full tank of fuel and hope that gets me further. The official figure is meant to be 34mpg; I’ll be happy with 30mpg haha.
I went to the wedding of my Aunt Mary which was absolutely fantastic. I do wish someone had warned me in advance about how much of a bitch driving across Reading is. So many traffic lights and traffic cones, it took me nearly 20 minutes to cross Reading alone. We arrived at the wedding with four minutes to spare; my Aunt later commented that in a picture of us walking to the church, we did look rather rushed. Although I will openly admit I am not a huge fan of churches, it was a lovely wedding and the party afterwards was brilliant; on a boat, down the river Thames.
My kind father came down to visit last Saturday and helped me with more of my bedroom. We cleared the room, and gave the room a whole new coat of paint as the previous paint was about as useful as washable toilet roll, except more annoying. Every time I leant against the wall, it left a blue/black mark from my clothes, and washing it off resulted in washing the paint off as well. So I now have Dulux Endurance on my bedroom walls, and that means if I do draw on my walls I can wash it off. Speaking of Dulux, there is nothing more embarrassing than approaching a boy in Homebase and asking for Durex Endurance. I realised my error, noticed the boy was saying nothing, so assumed he was either being very kind or was not yet old enough to know what Durex was. I kept quiet too.
Following the decorating of my bedroom, my mum has now gone on the warpath regarding buying a new wardrobe and a new bed; the wardrobe especially as currently all my clothes are in a big heap on the living room floor. What resulted next was her dragging me and my friend Chris to Ikea.
Now, this was my first ever trip to Ikea, and all I can say is; what an awful, awful shop. Who on earth thought it would be an amazing idea to make you all walk in a one way direction, not let you pick your product up, but instead hand you a slip of paper to write down your order? This is not like Argos; this is a LOT worse; especially as we were buying a wardrobe. After my mum had bought some plastic flowers that somehow still looked dead, and sat on every sofa we passed, we finally got to the wardrobes. My mum pointed out several wardrobes, but I found one in a nice chocolate brown that not only looked brilliant, but was practical and would match my room. The price was reasonable too, until we then realised this price did not include a shelf, a hanging rail, drawer, or doors. So essentially I was set to buy an upright box to just throw all my clothes in instead; nice one Ikea. This is where the little slip of paper became a nice big kick to the testicles; having to write down the name, size, price, code, quantity and aisle location for the upright box, the doors, the shelf, the hanging rail, the drawers, and even the nifty things that go behind the doors to stop them slamming. Needless to say this was an excruciatingly long process, although I kept myself entertained by handing the paper to my mother and walking the wrong way of the one way system to be rebellious.
What I also did not realise about Ikea is that to get something delivered, it would cost £60. That’s nearly a third of the price of the wardrobe, and with four of us in the car there was no way it would fit. Determined that I was NOT going to leave there empty handed, I bought a very attractive tree. It’s called a Yucca Elephanti (feel free to google it) and its now looking very nice in my bedroom. Although I am praying that it stays its current height and width. With quite spiky leaves, it could become troublesome and painful in my little bedroom.
On even less successful news, my two week holiday begins in five days time. I did have plans to have a good friend who I had not seen in ages stay with me, but sadly due to work he was forced to cancel last minute. I am now left with the possibility I’ll be stuck with bugger all to do for two weeks, and need to begin calling people to fill the days up. I do have my party on the 28th of August though, although the original idea was to have a couple of barbeques going in the garden; with Britain’s schizophrenic weather this is now looking highly unlikely. Now faced with a decision; be a man and cook in the rain under a shelter, or cook something else indoors. Sadly the house isn’t really big enough to accommodate over twelve people. Oh well, we’ll figure something out!
I would like to end this blog with a dedication to my Aunt Susan, who sadly passed away a fortnight ago after a fight with cancer. She was a lovely, kind lady who although fairly quiet, was always laughing and smiling. She will most definitely be much missed for future family meet ups. The church service was lovely, although due to not wanting to risk repeating the wedding fiasco and turning up with minutes to spare, we arrived a whole hour early and nearly joined the church service for the funeral before the one for my Aunt Susan. I was especially touched by just how strong both my Uncle Philip and Cousin Sally were on the day, and I wish them both that the following years are not difficult for them.
